And the obsession sinks in deeper...

It wasn't really that big of a problem, was it? The world was going to end, that's all. Derek didn't think it was a problem. All they had to do was...not die. Simple enough.

See, it all started when Nightwish fired Tarja Turunen, singer of ten years, because she (allegedly) became a bitch. This sent diehard fans into an uproar and they'd all begun plotting Nightwish's downfall. Of course it woldn't seem like such a big deal, but since Tuomas Holopainen is Jesus, it is.

But then, in May 2007, Nightwish announced their new lead singer, Anette Olzon (who, incidentally, is a pixie) to the world. That's when the plans to bring Nightwish down really began to take shape, and drama surrounded every step of the bend's current and ex members. Anette was sent a death threat, it came out that the pixie and Jesus had been getting it on, Marco (the viking) and Emppu (the metal elf) got into a drunken brawl, Jukka (the Nightowl) had been heavily immersed in a cocaine habit and Tarja (the ice queen) had been cheating on her husband Marcelo (master passion greed) with American actor Wentworth Miller. Fans were confused, unsure of who to hate more, but the ones planning the end of Nightwish continued putting their plan into motion.

Derek had found out about the plan because someone had approached him and told him he looked like a Tarja fan and would he like to help with the plan? Suspicious, Derek agreed (though he wasn't a Tarja fan...in fact, he had taken to calling her "Ratja") but honestly, he now made a point of stopping the Anette hate. When this guy told him there was a plan to destroy th best band in the world, he had to know what it was so he could warn Jesus and the others.

The plan was pretty violent; they would go to a local Nightwish concert and blow up the venue. This would be a signal for other ice queen cults, who would then radiate whole cities with a radition gun powered by Dark Passion Play so that they could say that the new Nightwish had, in fact, destroyed the world. Horrified by the plan, Derek knew he had to tell Jesus, because Jesus would use his magical compositional powers to put an end to it all.

He found out that Nightwish was to be playing in his city soon, and he immediately bought tickets. Unfortunately, the VIP tickets with the meet & greet wereall sold out, so he wouldn't be able to warn them that way. He had to hope to meet them before or after the gig, or maybe he'd make a big sign to show during the gig. Yes, that was a good idea.

Finally the night of the concert arrived, and Derek continued to pretend to be in on the plan. He started queuing at noon, hoping to catch the band as they went for soundcheck, but they must have gone in through a back door. So Derek made the sign he would hold up. It said:

YOUR LIVES ARE IN DANGER.

TUOMAS, SAVE US.

He held the sign up in the middle of Amaranth and he could see the metal elf leaning over to read it. Emppu gestured to Tuomas, and then Jesus read it too. He nodded, face determined and scanned the crowd. Derek could see him mouth some words and then all of a sudden, big lightning bolts shot from his keyboards and the speakers. A deep, booming voice said, "DO NOT DESTROY THE WORLD. YOU ARE ALL DAMNED." Someone near Derek screamed and then melted into a puddle of manflesh and blood.

And the world was saved.

And the religion of Holopainism was born.

No offense intended to Tarja followers or anything. It's all fiction. And if you consider me calling Tuomas Jesus blasphemy, then I shrug at you, because at this point I'm sure I'm going to hell anyway. I see no belief for me in the near future.

---

I wrote that in geo class for Shanel (hence the Wentworth mention) when we were supposed to be watching some movie about petrol and junk. It made the time go faster...ish. This was also written right after some discussion on the Nightwish boards about how Tuomas looks like Jesus and stuff. Not like I actually participated in the conversation. Or any conversation there that I would participate in had it been on PRU or any other forum where I'm comfortable.

Amusingly, I just looked at my posts on the Nightwsh forum, and all my posts are in the Anette thread, with the exception of like...three. Hahaha. Well I guess something good came from that forum, eh? I'd never have started talking to Mike if not for that. Too bad I couldn't go to the concert in Minneapolis *sighs*. Oh well. 30 DAYS!!!! 30 days until I meet my favourite band and personal heroes! Oh god, I'm going to die of happiness.

AND the guy at my bus stop bought tickets for the concert! Yay! Though my retarded Monday morning brain, which also had some good ol' Raine Maida tunes infusing it, misheard him and made an idiot of me. But oh well. I'd talk to him some more (because I need more Nightwish friends!) but I'm too shy. Hah. I hate being shy.

You know what would be hilarious? If he actually wound up being a reader of this blog (oh yes, just because you guys don't comment doesn't mean I don't know you're all there). Hello bus stop dude if you do!

I have many other things I've written to post to this blog, and I'll get around to it. Sometime.

I bought a drawing tablet! Now if only I could use it!

Can you tell I'm writing as I think?

Oh! And I am definitely going to have fanfic update for tomorrow! I know exactly what to write! Normally I just have vague ideas about what I'll write and then I sit down and let the words kind of...go. But this time I know!!

I'm gonna go, dears. And non-dears. And random strangers.

I want to find more funny-people blogs. I've two in my favourites, but only one of them writes anything anymore. Though I don't comment so they don't even know I'm there, haha. I'M SHY! SO SUE ME!

Also, links are totally going to be updated (with a singular new link) moments after I publish this post.

Currently Listening: My Heart is a Fist by Papa Roach

So watch me fall from grace,

Watch me carve my hate.

In the heart of a lover,

I feel I could never escape my fate.

THEY ARE NOT NU-METAL ANYMORE. They are a rock band and that's all there is to it. Nu-metal lasted all of ONE ALBUM and they didn't sell out! That is all.

EDIT: WTF IS UP WITH BLOG HTML! GAHHHHHHH!!!! *kills self*