It's not something I want...it's something I NEED.

I want to go see Nightwish on September 9th in Seattle.

To do this, I would have to buy the concert ticket, obviously. And then a plane ticket to Victoria, and another to come home, and then pay for a ferry to take my father and I (since my mom won't let me go without a parent) over to Seattle. I would have to pay for accomodation for the night, since ferries stop running at 9. Sometimes The Clipper has deals for this, except their website is confusing me.

Regardless, I NEED a job now like I never have before. Guess who's seriously going to apply at fast food places? I don't care anymore. I really, really NEED to go to this concert, like seriously. I have to go. This isn't something I just "want" to do. And no matter what I have to do, short of murder, or physically harming someone, or prostituting myself (aha), I am going to this concert. I'll get part-time work at a fucking fast food place, and for a month at least I'll have an advantage over regular high school kids. And then for summer I'll work full-time. And I'll do absolutely any odd jobs that anyone has for me. I HAVE to go to this concert. It's a necessity.

Plus, Joe said he'd meet me there :p

BUT I NEED TO SEE THEM AGAIN.

I told my mom she should just let me go see the damn concert in Toronto, but she refuses, since I know no one who lives there. Goddamn everyone who lives in/around Ottawa. MOVE TO TORONTO. OMFG IT JUST OCCURED TO ME. I could go see Aunt Delphine and she could bring me to Montreal to see them!

Nah, I don't feel comfortable asking something like that from her.

BUT IT WOULD BE SO MUCH SIMPLER. So, so much. And I wouldn't have to fork out over $1000 to go see Nightwish. Hmm, perhaps I shall discuss this with my G.I.-Jo.

Regardless, I am going to see Nightwish again on this tour of theirs. I can't even fathom not being able to go. Seriously. If there's a fucking god, let this work out.

Hell, I could stoop so low as to take a loan from someone and sink deeper in debt. IT WOULD BE SO FUCKING WORTH IT.

We'll see, I guess.

I'm sorry, I just had to rant about that.

Currently Listening: Post Blue by Placebo

Bite the hand that feeds.
Tap the vein that bleeds.

Down on my bended knees,

I break the back of love for you.

I break the back of love for you.

and so the rambling begins!

So...hi! I'm pretty much addicted to memes, so forgive me, but here's another. You can just skip past it if you want, to the "substance" part. Aha. Right, because me rambling about this that and absolutely nothing of importance is "substance".

TEN songs off the top of your head.
10] Beauty of the Beast by Nightwish
9] Heart Full of Fire by Brother Firetribe
8] Shut Your Mouth by PAIN
7] Amaranth by Nightwish
6] Carnival by Our Lady Peace
5] Burn Your Eyes by Oomph!
4] No More Secrets by Papa Roach
3] Accidents Can Happen by Sixx:A.M.
2] 7 Days to the Wolves by Nightwish
1] Lovestoned/I Think She Knows by Justin Timberlake

NINE inside joke topics.
9] V.S.
8] "I AM STANGHERLIN! HEAR ME ROAR!"
7] The Grand Mole
6] Art as the capital punishment
5] Turtleleaf
4] Pulsating boobs
3] Yams in the closet
2] *couch* *couch*
1] Crunchy peanut butter
(haha omg all were with Shanel except one...and there's more! I wanna add more! Eeyyuiuiesakasda.)

EIGHT friends that have had you at their home.
8] Cory
7] Shanel
6] Chantal
5] Jessica
4] Sarah
3] Tina
2]
1]
(aww that makes me sad :(. I could include Provencher friends...then it would be filled up. Do they count as friends anymore?)

SEVEN things you like {excluding people}.
7] Nightwish!!!
6] guitars
5] horror movies
4] books
3] blogs (aha)
2] webcomics
1] Rock Band

SIX dates that are important to you.
6] June 15th
5] June 21st
4] February 26th
3] May 22nd
2] October 3rd
1] January 20th

FIVE {material} things you want.
5] another guitar
4] that Amaranth shirt (omg I must have it...*twitchtwitch*)
3] money
2] a PostSecret book
1] a new video camera

FOUR things you've done today.
4] a math quiz
3] took the bus
2] ate
1] woke up

THREE cities you've been in.
3] Victoria, BC
2] London, England
1] Munich, Germany

TWO tv shows you watch.
2] House
1] Gossip Girl

ONE thing you should be doing right now.
1] writing a wishlist

SOOOoooOOoooOO...I made 25 icons last night (a record for moi). 20 of Anette, 5 of Emppu. I'm not done making Emppu icons, though, and then I have the rest of the band, and then I will consider the set complete and post a link for anyone who cares ^.^.
I also wrote two chapters of the fanfic. DRAMA OMG!
That thing's at 49 pages on Word. It's EPIC. (haha omg, I almost wrote "empic" and then I saw my typo and thought "aww...Emppu." geehaahah)

Hm, so that PAIN song, "Shut Your Mouth"...I'm pretty much addicted to it. IT IS SO AWESOME!



And then I watch this version, with Nightwish, and it's STILL super awesome, if not more awesome by the mere fact that Nightwish is in it...but am I the only one who thinks it is SO WEIRD to hear Anette say "fuck"? She's all singing in this girly, melodious, sweet little voice...it just seems so out of place. That and I'm pretty sure I've not heard her say "fuck" before. IT TRIPS ME OUT OMG. But it's still awesome anyway.

Anette. Is. Too. Awesome. For. Words.

And Emppu is possibly the most adorable person to walk the face of this Earth. I totally want to put him in my pocket and carry him home. Or at least be friends with him, he'd be an awesome friend to have :p
Too bad that won't ever happen in my life.

What else. Well, Papa Roach's new album is now going to be called "Metamorphosis". Gawd I wanna hear more clips from that album. Now. I've already resolved not to snatch leaks and whatnot beforehand, but to save the excitement for the release date (which hasn't yet been set). Besides, I'm sure I'll hear a few of their new songs when I go see them in concert (speaking of which...I totally have to pick up my tickets still). I've yet to check out TRAPT and Buckcherry, who are also playing the concert, but at least I know I like Sixx:A.M. and Papa Roach! And Motley Crue is...okay.

Aww Eva started playing and it's making me all sad.

I totally wish Johan would sign onto MSN. Because last time I talked to him (like...forever ago), we were talking about Anette and how she's Swedish and how I think Swedish everything is awesome (he's Swedish. By the way. I probably should have mentioned). It was so trippy to see him listening to Amaranth, because he added me from PRU. I totally attacked him when I saw that (that was pretty much when I got all addicted to that song for the first time). Anyways, his band put up some of their re-recorded songs on their Myspace, and I only have the demos (pretty bad quality), so I want him to send me the re-recorded ones! But he's never online anymore.

I'm trying to decide which solo to focus all my attentions on mastering: Ever Dream, She is my Sin or Beauty of the Beast. Opinions?
The problem is that with BOTB, the tempo is COMPLETELY fucked up for the guitar part. SERIOUSLY WTF. Notes are easy, but it's very hard to hear how it goes into the song. It does though, because that song is like my favourite Nightwish song, and so obviously is flawless except for the glaring grammatical error, but one looks past these things in songs, especially if the songwriter's native language is not English.

Haha, am I on A.D.D. mode or something?

THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION HAS BEEN MILDLY EDITED.
[back story: I had a pic of Anette being insane as my dp]
(7:13 PM) Theodore goes to the zoo:
ur dp scares me..its like she is watching me
(7:14 PM) Paradise Poetry:
oh...she is
(7:14 PM) Paradise Poetry:
she's like, "Imma murder Shanel in her sleep"
(7:14 PM) Theodore goes to the zoo:
and im like " if that bitch come near me m gonna go porkchop on her ass"
(7:15 PM) Paradise Poetry:
and she's like, "ain't no way she goin go porkchop on my ass, or Imma KILL her with my awesome Amaranth scream"
(7:16 PM) Theodore goes to the zoo:
and i will bludgen her with the rock man dreams
(7:16 PM) Paradise Poetry:
rock man dreams?!
(7:17 PM) Theodore goes to the zoo:
rock band drums rofl
[some conversation passes]
(7:24 PM) Theodore goes to the zoo:
anneteee scaresme
(7:25 PM) Paradise Poetry:
would you like me to change my dp?
(7:27 PM) Theodore goes to the zoo:
no i can hit her
(7:28 PM) Paradise Poetry:
HIT her?! but you can't hit Nettan!
[to this she had no response as she randomly disappeared into the void of non-answering]

She later explained to me that she meant to say "no, I can just say hi to her" or something like that.
It amuses me to go through old MSN conversations.
I just reread all the messages Shanel left me while I was in Europe, and I almost died laughing. SHANEL YOU'RE HILARIOUS DON'T EVER CHANGE!
The MSN convos with ink drawings are particularly funny. Too bad I can't copy said drawings into here for the world to see. Damn. oh well. *keels over laughing*

Sorry, I should go. I'd thought of something to write but then I got distracted by my old MSN convos with peeps, heh.

@Daria: Ah I see. You see, generally when people are weirdly formal to me, it's because I pissed them off. Now that I know such is not the case with you, I shall not misinterpret again ^.^

On that note...*jumps upstairs to get some hot chocolate and food of some sort!*

GOTTA FINISH MY MATH PROJECT OMG O.O

Currently Listening: I Am No Angel by Alyson Avenue

I am no angel.

I am no angel, can't you see?

I lied and I'm sorry.

Oh, I am no angel dressed in white.

hey, I made it three days. Congratulate me. and OMG SURVEYS ARE FUN!

Guess who figured out that you could put MSN addies on your Blogger profile? *raises hand sheepishly*

Feel free to add me (I doubt anyone will, but I thought I'd throw it out there), but you gotta know I'm too shy to start the first conversation haha.

AND I saw a guy in a Nightwish shirt the other day! I freaked out in the car! This is the first person in the city other than myself and other than at the concert that I've seen in a Nightwish shirt! But alas, by the time we parked at Starbucks, he was at his car.

BUT HERE IS A MEME TO MAKE THE TIME GO FASTER! :D

You are invisible for the entire day, what's everything you would do?
I would...I dunno. Steal things. Maybe go onto a plane headed for Germany or Sweden or somewhere in Europe and then never come home again.

Are you completely content with your life?
Not at all.

Is there anyone you know you could spend forever with?
Nope. I get annoyed with people very easily.

What is your obsession?
Nightwish! (d-uh)

What's something you couldn't possibly live without?
Nightwish! and music in general.

Whats your favorite thing to drink?
Hot chocolate...or iced tea...or chocolate milk...or diet pepsi...

Have you discovered something new you really like?
the band Sixx:A.M.

Who is there for you no matter what and doesn't give you shitty advice?
Cory. And Mike! :)

Name lyrics from the song you're listening to?
"Now I could explain everything: you cursed the fire, now fuck the flame. What is the reason? There's millions of reasons."

Describe the one person you'd like to disappear forever?
I shouldn't say...or should I? Maybe? Nah...but should I? Nah...

How was today?
Dull. Let's see, I woke up and then ate and then went on the net and chatted with people. Shock of shocks, I was unblocked. And then Daria was being weirdly formal to me (did I piss you off or something?), and Joe disappeared right away. And then my parents came home and we set up the new barbecue. And then I continued making icons, and now here we are.

What's something completely random about you?
Um...I don't know. I has a secret! :)

What's something you honestly love about yourself?
Um...nothing?

What's something you hate about yourself?
Too shy. Among other things.

What is everything you're going to do tonight?
Play guitar likely, and make more icons, and eat.

On a scale of one to ten, how good can you dance?
Zero. I don't dance.

Now what song are you listening too?
Placebo - Blind

What makes a person stand out in your eyes?
Dunno. If they're honest, open, and not shy.

What do you want to do right now?
I would love to not be inside doing this, but I have nothing else to do.

Can you control yourself?
Usually too well.

Who is one of the most important people in your life?
I dunno, there are a few.

How's life without texting?
Texting kind of bothers me, but that's because I fail at it.

This survey is over, what now?
Likely I'm off to find more surveys to put on Myspace and/or Facebook and/or Livejournal!
Hell, maybe I'll even edit another one into this post!

EDITS: OMG ANOTHER! XD

Countdown

10 words to describe your personality:

1: shy

2: introverted

3: angry

4: musical

5: hypocritical

6: sarcastic

7: funny (or I try to be, anyway)

8: chickenshit

9: secretive...ish

10: helpful (or I try to be, anyway)

9 things you'd buy if you had a million dollars:

1: a ton of Nightwish stuff!

2: a pro video camera

3: pro video-editing software

4: 4 guitars

5: drumset

6: macro lens digital camera

7: a better computer

8: a pro keyboard (like the one Tuomas has)

9: a house

8 people who make life worth living:

1: Cory

2: Sarah

3: Shanel

4: Chantal

5: Janice

6: Jeanette

7: Holly

8: Aiden

7 books you've read:

1: Thief with No Shadow by Emily Gee

2: Song of the Beast by Carol Berg

3: Covenants by Lorna Freeman

4: The Dragonstone by Dennis L. McKiernan

5: Dragondoom by Dennis L. McKiernan

6: The Redemption of Althalus by David & Leigh Eddings

7: The Darkness that Comes Before... by R. Bakker

6 things to do before you die:

1: Go to Sweden

2: Go on exchange to Europe

3: go parasailing

4: get rich (or die trying XD)

5: move away from Winnipeg

6: see a Rammstein concert!

5 reasons to wake up tomorrow:

1: see my friends

2: listen to Nightwish

3: one day closer to my birthday

4: see webcomic updates

5: write some junk (I've had a very hyper muse lately)

4 places you love:

1: Victoria, BC

2: Lucerne, Switzerland

3: London, England

4: Munich, Germany

3 things you notice first about the preferred sex:

1: teeth

2. clothes (bands tees, black clothes, whatnot)

3: eyes

2 good memories:

1: Nightwish concert (absolutely everything that happened there)

2: Visiting my dad in BC for the first time

1 person you would happily die for:

1: Anette eheh. Someone I know though? Aiden.

***

Pick your 8 friends, and mark it down. Then answer the questions.

1. Cory

2. Shanel

3. Sarah

4. Chantal

5. Arielle

6. Mike

7. Tina

8. Jessica

Number 8 – Jessica

1. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 8? Since elementary school but I never hung out with her until grade 9.

2. HAVE YOU EVER DATED 8? O.O no

3. IS NUMBER 8 ONE OF YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS? Kinda...

4. HAVE YOU EVER KISSED 8? O.O no

5. NAME ONE FAVOURITE MEMORY WITH 8? The Zellers and Taco Bell trips in grade 9

6. DO YOU TRUST 8? No...but I only trust like 2 people

7. WOULD YOU KEEP A SECRET FROM 8? Yes, I keep secrets from everyone.

8. WOULD YOU TAKE A ROAD TRIP WITH 8? Yes

9. IS 8 DATING ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8? Nope

Number 7 – Tina

10. NAME ONE INTERESTING THING ABOUT NUMBER 7: She's frickin' hilarious!

11. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 7? I'd buy her a cookie!

12. ONE THING 7 IS GOOD AT? Being FUNNY! And she's also a very good drawer!

13. ARE YOU OLDER OR YOUNGER THAN 7? older by a few months

14. HAVE YOU EVER HUGGED #7? No...I've mauled her because I'm a cougar!

15. WHEN WILL YOU SEE #7 NEXT? Tomorrow in the hallway likely

16. HAVE YOU EVER CHATTED WITH #7? On MSN? Yes.

17. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR #7? Through the people I sat with at the caf in grade 9. We weren't really friends until last semester though.

18. WOULD YOU TRUST THEM WITH YOUR LIFE? Yep!

Number 6 – Mike

19. HAS 6 DONE ANYTHING ILLEGAL? I...don't know O.O have you, Mike?

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS WITH 6? Nope

21. HAVE YOU EVER WORKED WITH #6? Nope

22. WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE #6? Nightwish concert, in person!

23. EVER LAUGHED WITH 6? Via MSN yeah :p

24. WOULD 6 BE THERE FOR YOU? Probably. Seems like that kinda guy.

25. WOULD YOU BE THERE FOR 6? Yes!

26. WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT 6? His sense of humour, and the fact that he's honest.

Number 5 – Arielle

31. HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW 5? Well enough, guess

32. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN NUMBER 5? A very long time

33. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE WITH 5? Talk...gossip. lol

35. WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT 5? I dunno

36. DO YOU KNOW A SECRET ABOUT 5 THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES? I don't believe so

37. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 5? Not anything

Number 4 – Chantal

38. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW 4? Friday

39. ARE YOU RELATED TO 4? No

40. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL WITH 4? Yes

41. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 4? Again, since elementary school but we really became friends in like grade 7 or 8

42. WHAT’S YOUR BEST MEMORY WITH 4? One of the concerts we went to, but I couldn't put my finger on which.

43. WOULD YOU GO ON A TRIP WITH 4? Yep

44. HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH 4? Some things

45. HAVE YOU EVER DATED 4? O.O no

Number 3 – Sarah

46. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 3? Since grade 9

47. WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE 3? Friday

48. HAVE YOU EVER DATED 3? O.O no

49. HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH 3? Some things

50. IS 3 FUNNY? Yes

51. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL WITH 3? Yes

52. WHAT’S THE LAST THING YOU DID WITH #3? I dunno, went to math class? lol

53. WHAT IS SOMETHING 3 IS GOOD AT? being there for friends

54. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 3? she's honest and loyal

Number 2 – Shanel

55. HOW DID YOU MEET THIS PERSON? She went to my elementary school. And then we had some classes and spares together in grade 9 and so now we're friends.

56. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 2? Not anything

57. WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT WITH THIS PERSON? O.O no

58. DO YOU LOVE 2? As a friend

59. HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE WITH 2? I can't recall

60. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO WITH 2? Bike-riding!

61. DO YOU LIKE THIS PERSON MORE THAN A FRIEND? O.O no

Number 1 – Cory

62. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN #1? We went to the same elementary school and have been friends since grade 3

63. HAVE YOU EVER HUGGED #1? Yep, everytime I see him

64. EVER DONE ANYTHING CRAZY WITH THEM? Haha yes

65. HAVE YOU EVER FOUGHT WITH 1? Yeah, but not as often as I fight with my other friends

66. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 1? Yes

67. DO YOU LOVE 1? As a friend

68. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 1? His sense of humour, and that he's honest and helpful and loyal.

I guess you could say this has substance.

Shanel and I were outside the Marlborough (to which the Garrick is attached) except we were in Ontario somewhere. Behind the hotel, where we were, was a really nice back lane as far as back lanes go. She and I were sitting in some cubby in the wall across the street, playing cards, and then a bunch of people in Nightwish and other metal band shirts started gathering at the back door. They started calling for Tuomas, so Shanel and I hopped down (and the alley changed into some really nice place you might see outside the Manitoba Museum, except better kept since it's in Ontario, after all) and I grabbed my Nightwish hoodie and Shanel grabbed something, but I can't remember what. I asked her if she had a camera and she said, "Why? You planning on getting a picture with him?" but I didn't answer because the crowd had grown so much and there were fangirls screaming Tuomas' name, so I figured he had to be there. I pushed to the front of the crowd and there was Tuomas, looking like he did during the Century Child times, signing a bunch of autographs and being really nice. I didn't stop though, and I went into the hotel.

Inside, the carpet was purple and it was some fancy restaurant, except it went up super high and there was like individual balconies for each table. As we headed up, I saw that the hoodie I held was actually a Manowar hoodie. I asked Shanel whose it was and how I'd got it, but she didn't reply. Instead, she started freaking out 'cause she forgot her camera, and she ran to a spiral staircase and started going downstairs as fast as she could. The stairs were also carpeted in purple carpets, and were in really ratty condition. I called for her to wait up and take the Manowar hoodie and get my Nightwish one, but she was already long gone. So I rushed around a table to chase after her, only the stairs there were really steep, like a ladder, and there was no handrail or anything. A young girl and her family were eating at the table below and she gave me a really weird look and started walking up the stairs when I freaked out because I almost fell (we were like..epically high. The view of the inside of the hotel was as high up as the view of downtown from my mom's office is). I decided to take the escalator but it was really long and steep, and as I stepped on I thought to myself that it would definitely be going fast because of gravity. It was. At some point, I fell onto my stomach and the escalator changed into one of those moving sidewalks like at the airports, still going fast/ Somewhere along the line, I wound up going through a clear tunnel, but the tunnel started to get smaller and smaller, and the escalator-thing started to slow down, and I stopped like two inches from a clear divider that had a fan in the middle. I could see people on the other side, and there was this blond woman (who looked suspiciously like Wendy from my mom's old work) who looked completely petrified and was trying to warn me of something, but I couldn't hear her. Suddenly I knew that my escalator was going to start going in the opposite direction, and started inwardly freaking out because I hadn't reached the bottom yet. The fan started turning in front of my face and when the escalator started, it didn't go in the opposite direction, it went straight forward. I stuck my hands on either side of the fan, on the clear divider, to keep from hitting it, and I was really, really scared.

And then I woke up.

This is the dream I had last night. When I woke up I had that same rush/nervousness/whatever you wanna call it as you get when you wake up from a falling dream (we've all had those, right?). So when I woke up from this one, at 3 am, I quickly wrote it on the closest piece of paper I could find. It was so vivid. Because usually, in my dreams, I see things from the third-person, as though I were a fly on the wall watching things happen, and this dream started like that, until I went to go on the escalator and then I was myself, and I was feeling all freaked out, and I thought I was going to die. Of course it sounds lame to read it in writing, but I'm sure we've all had those dreams where really, logically, they're silly things to be scared of, but in dreamland you are.

Like, the last nightmare, real nightmare, I had was in BC last summer. I dreamt that Jack the Ripper was going to kill my family, and I kept trying to warn them but no one would listen to me, until he showed up at a neighbour's party. There were other stupid things in the dream that were very relevant to what was going on, like there were these little eggs that were like blackish-green and kind of rubbery that Jack would leave everywhere and he wore a mask like Jason's. And this was absolutely terrifying in the dream, but to look at it now, it's like, "Wtf? Eggs?". In the dream, he did actually kill my dad, and he almost killed my bro, but Holly was completely oblivious, and I kept trying to warn her. Also in that dream, Aiden was like...14. Which was weird, because I was still 16.

I said this would be a post with no substance, but then I had that dream, and so now it is :p

And sorry, Sarah, for being a shitty friend and ditching you two days in a row :(
I hope you don't mind too much. I didn't mean to, I just forgot.

AND I have the best dad ever! I asked him a few weeks ago to look for the Kerrang! magazine that had Ville Valo on the cover (more for the interview with Anette at the end, though Ville was a nice bonus), and I got it in the mail today! He never even told me he'd found it! I didn't know if he'd actually look for me, but he did and awww....I wish he lived here so I could give him a big hug. (I asked him to find this magazine for me because it never arrived in Winnipeg. Goddamn imported magazines.)

Anyways, this is what I drew for my mom:

I'm sure that there's grammatical errors like mad in the German and Swedish versions, but I did the best I could given the free online translators I had helping me. Think she'll like it? I tried drawing a dragonfly for her instead (because she likes dragonflies), but I failed, so I drew this instead. And yes, I am aware that the thumb is short and it's tormenting me, but I can't be bothered to fix it. I didn't have a picture to copy, so given that, I think I did alright.
What do you think?

Well, I'm leaving soon to meet Jessica at the mall, so I'm going to leave you with that, and please remember that comments bring me great deals of joy, and I'm going to try to resist posting for a bit (don't count on me being gone for long though heh).

Currently Listening: Sometimes by Papa Roach

I never know what you want.
I never know what you need.
It was different from the start,
When you cut me in two,
I never thought I would bleed.
I am searching for the answers.

Half the luck would get me twice as far ♪

My Oomph! CD arrived today! "Wahrheit oder Pflicht".

What it means, I know not.

Which is why I VOW to learn German someday. German and Swedish. And yes, someday I'll get around to explaining why these two countries are my favourite. But not today.

This will be my last post for at least a little while (I hope XD) because I'm trying to cut back on blogging. I feel like I'm getting to be annoying. But then again, we'll see how long that resolution lasts. Well, I'm posting tomorrow, but nothing really of substance.

I accidentally ordered Oceanborn yesterday, aha. Funny story. I was looking for prices on Amazon, right? My credit card only had $14.28 on it (shut up, I don't have $250 on hand to reload it), so I was checking around different prices. So I saw the CD for $10-something, and wanted to know shipping costs. Idiotic me. There was this little button on the left that said "One-click ordering!" and then underneath it said "(You can still cancel)", so I thought that this would be a faster way just to see the shipping expenses. Again, SHUT UP! It was like 1 am, I wasn't at my brightest. So, it turns out I couldn't cancel the order because it was from the Marketplace and not Amazon itself. The way it works is it automatically charges your credit card (because you are logged in and so your credit card number is accessible for it)...no confirmation, no nothing. Just click and then it's bought. Amusingly, I bought it from the same vendor from which I bought the Oomph! CD. I can picture myself spending lots of money with that vendor. What's stupid is that I bought the CD for $10-something (after shipping it came to be $14.25, so I now have 3 cents on my card), but some people on there were charging $25, and one was selling for SIXTY FUCKING DOLLARS! O.o Like wtf? Then someone was selling a combo pack with Angels Fall First and Oceanborn (I think the re-released versions) for $143! Wow. I love Nightwish but I wouldn't spend that much on them.

But yes. Moving on.

I don't have anything else to say really. I finally finished my mom's belated mother's day drawing, of which pictures shall be posted tomorrow. I waited this long because I figured I'd just give it to her on her birthday, which is tomorrow (she's pretty much exactly a month older than Anette XD. Incidentally, Anette's b-day is my bro's. How perfect, haha. I had a mini-freakout when I first got into Nightwish and found this out. The novelty's worn off now though). Shitty family junk going on, meaning one of my aunts won't be present. Gotta love familial drama. They act like they're in high school. Seriously.

And on that note, I'm off, hopefully for a few days (I...must...resist), except tomorrow, like I said. Going downtown today with Sarah, and I can see myself buying some Nightwish merch from Wild Planet. I can't go in there and not buy something if they have anything. I'm running out of room in my room for posters, though flags can be hung on my ceiling. Someday I'll have to show you guys my room of fandomness haha. Considering only like...three of my friends have seen it, and none have seen it in it's even Nightwishier state. Someday.

Fanfic update sucksssssssss. I'm sorry. It really does though. Wow. I'm ashamed of myself.

Also, I'm making a big, big list (I like lists). Big, big list is fun :)

Currently Listening: So Far So Good by Thornley

I feel a little bit left of center,

But then again, we've all been there before.

Every time I see a lost cause coming,

It's nothing less, nothing more.

Every time I get lost in paradise,

I find a way to screw it up somehow.

Ain't the way it's supposed to be,

But it'll do for now.

it's more than irksome

Piss off = when people save my pics to their Photobucket accounts, which are then linked to all over the forum, and yet no one could bother to say a simple "Thanks for the pics" or "I like your pics" or anything to me. Maybe I'm selfish for just wanting to know that my stuff (really, it's Shanel's) was noticed and appreciated before finding it linked in some random place? Even if only by one person? I don't care if it's selfish, I need shit like that to make me feel better about what I do. Otherwise I just give up. It's just how I am.

It's stupid, but it's annoying since I've seen a great many around the NW forum, and nobody, not a single person said anything to me.

That's a lie, one person asked if they could use some in a wallpaper, which of course is fine, and it did make me very happy, and of course it's fine if people use my pics for icons or just for linking, it's just I'd like to KNOW, you know? I just want to see someone actually say to ME that they liked the pics. :(

And see, if I were braver, I'd be saying this in the forum itself. But I'm not, that's why I need little self-esteem boosts from people I've never met and never talk to *rolls eyes at self*.

God, I'm tired of being me.

*goes off into a happy place, remembering the concert*

Currently Listening: Ocean Soul by Nightwish

Losing emotion,

Finding devotion.

Should I dress in white and search the sea?

As I always wished to be

One with the waves.

Ocean Soul.

To-Do

- Get a job
- Pay off debts
- Pay public library fine
- Organize music library
- Reformat mp3 player (once music library is organized)
- Find cell phone USB cord
- Find webcam
- Finish unpacking
- Learn how to play keyboard
- Finish learning "Beauty of the Beast" on guitar
- Fix video camera
- Finish Nightwish tribute video
- Finish Brian & Laura video
- Finish current icon set
- Not give up on fanfic
- Finish Nightwish comic
- Buy more Nightwish merchandise
- Buy Oomph! merchandise
- Finish Tuomas portrait
- Finish Nemo drawing
- Get eyebrow piercing
- Buy new guitar
- Buy new keyboard
- Get tattoo

There we go.
God knows how long that will take.

Will be at least another year for the tattoo, but once I get a job and pay off what I owe from Europe, then the guitar and keyboard shouldn't take too long to save up for.

Hindsight is a bitchy, bitchy thing, don't you think? All I wish now was that I had talked more to Marco when he was talking to me about the BBB DVD, and that I had stuck my tongue out at Emppu when he was staring at me, just to see his reaction, and that I had said something more to Anette rather than just smiling like an idiot at her.

Oh well, next time.

Meine Mutter said that if they go to MN or ND anytime, she would seriously consider driving me there. I hope they announce just a few more dates, just a few more, that brings them to either of those states, or, better yet, back here.

I'm dying for a new album from them though, too bad we have to wait forever to get one.

Heard a full song from PR's new album, and I didn't much care for it. I really, really like the lyrics (*proudly sports some in her MSN pm*), but I don't much care for the music itself. I also heard about 10 seconds of another song and it sounds AMAZING! Totally metal and crazy! Looking forward to hearing more!

Was on Youtube, looking at videos from NW's concert here, and I was watching the WIHAA one, and I could see the part where Anette was looking at me as she sang a line, and I almost had a fit haha. It is now proudly in my video log. The person who filmed the vid was seriously like two or three people to my left. That's how tiny that stage was.

I still get hyperspazzy when I think about Emppu winking at me or Anette touching my face. Shit like that doesn't happen to me. I'm the one who's always too quiet and so lives with the regret of not seizing the opportunity to say something like I did to Anette. I think she made my life. I didn't expect her to hear me, much less acknowledge me if she did. I didn't even know what she said to me until later, and with Shanel's help. I was too busy having mental shutdown because she had her hand on my face O.O

Next time I get upset, I'll just think about that and be happy again.

Currently Listening: Bye Bye Beautiful by Nightwish

Jacob's ghost for the girl in white,

Blindfold for the blind,

Dead siblings walking the dying earth.

Noose around a choking heart,

Eternity torn apart.

Slow toll now the funeral bells.

You know, there's a REASON that I don't post on forums anymore.

EEEE!!!! NIGHTWISH!!!

THE BEST FUCKING NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!

Having some issues with finding someone to go with, the details of which can be left out, I finally wound up going with Shanel, and she had fifteen minutes’ notice. So we got downtown half an hour before the meet & greet and went into the line, but we didn’t know if it was the right line. Thankfully, the people in front of us were VIP as well and went to do some sleuthing, and they found where the VIP line was, so we followed them. We were immediately let in, and I had absolutely no problem with Enter the Vault. I gave the woman at the counter my invoice number and she asked me for my first name, which I told her, and then we got two admit one coupons. We got our VIP wristbands and then waited around by the merch table because that’s where the meet and greet was taking place. Shanel stood in the meet and greet line and I went to buy some merch, but right as it was my turn, Shanel’s like, “Uhhh…Danika.” And she points to the table and there’s Jukka and Tuomas! I went and stood beside her, shaking like I had Parkinson’s, and she took the shirt I gave her to have signed and I took my Bye Bye Beautiful DVD to get signed. I also grabbed my flag, but didn’t ask the band to sign it, because they seemed anxious to get out of there. So I got the poster (unfortunately black and white, but what can ya do?) and Tuomas signed it, and I handed over my DVD. I forced myself to make eye contact with him and he smiled and said, “Howdy!” and I’m like “Hi!”. Then was Jukka, to whom I also said hi and nothing else. Emppu looked at me, but didn’t say anything, because he had already handed my stuff over to Anette, so I went to her and she said, “Hi” but was barely paying attention to me. She smiled though, and I said hi. Then Marco took my DVD and looked at the back before signing it and when he was done, he was like, “Did you watch the making of?” and I said, “Of course!” and at that point I was getting half pushed out of the way by the person behind me, so he’s like, “The drum school is…sadistic!” and Anette leaned over, looked at my DVD, laughed and said, “Yeah it is!” and that was the meet and greet. They stuck around for a little while longer for pictures and I was going to go next before Anette asked security if that was it, and the security said yes and ushered them out. I’m just too quiet I guess, though I think Anette and Emppu heard me ask for one, because both looked at me when I said it, but they didn’t acknowledge it. All in all, Nightwish were out there for fifteen minutes, and none of us were able to say pretty much anything to them, so it was a little disappointing.

So then we stood around waiting to be let in to the actual concert area, and some guy came and cut off our wristbands and put a stamp on (so it sucked that we didn’t get a wristband or a ticket). A few minutes later, we were let in and we all rushed to the front. Shanel and I got a spot right in between Emppu and Anette, so it was perfect! We waited for a long time, because we were let in like 45 minutes before everyone else, and then everyone else came and the place filled up QUICK. There was 784 people there, according to the security guard (very friendly guy), which is pretty much maximum capacity. Finally Sonic Syndicate started, and I’m not a big fan of their music, but they did put on a really good show, so props to them for that. Some guy from the crowd, at one point, yelled at the bassist chick, “You’re hot! Marry me!” and she gave him metalhorns and traced some weird symbol in the air. Anyways, yeah it was really cool to see them. One of the security guards gave me the drummer’s drumstick which had gone flying and landed right in front of us, but unfortunately, I dropped the drumstick later and the other security guy wouldn’t give it back to me *sighs*.

After Sonic Syndicate, we waited half an hour and then Nightwish’s intro music started, and we all screamed like mad, but Jukka didn’t go onstage until we started chanting “Nightwish! Nightwish! Nightwish!” and then Tuomas went onstage, but everyone had a delayed reaction (except moi, because I was keeping an eye out for him) and cheered for him once he had already been at his keyboards for some time. Emppu came on and I squealed and he looked at me and laughed and then they started playing. It didn’t seem like many people cheered for Marco (I did though, haha), but when Anette came on, there was a LOT of screaming in my area at least. And not all of it was from me, ahaha. Emppu made all sorts of funny faces during that song, and when Marco came over to our side of the stage, I gave him metalhorns and he gave them back to me, and I was very happy.

Then they went straight into Dark Chest of Wonders without a pause to speak or anything and Emppu once again looked at me and smiled his absolutely adorable smile. Anette looked at me a couple times, but just glancing, and Marco noticed me every time he came over to our side. The guy behind me stuck his arms on either side of my head and started headbanging like crazy, so it was annoying, and I’m pretty sure Emppu was laughing at my situation at one point *is crestfallen*. I was squished right up against the barrier with this dude’s arms on either side of my head and him headbanging pretty much right into me…I could NOT move, at all. When Anette was saying hello (I can’t remember before which song), she shook a bunch of hands, and I shook her hand! I also shook her hand at another point during the show, during a song, actually, but I can’t for the life of me remember which. She hugged Emppu during Amaranth (I think it was Amaranth, I might be mistaken), and he made this scared face and ran away from her and she almost started laughing as she was singing. It was very, very endearing. I think it was also during that song that Anette winked at us (our general side of the stage).

During The Siren, a bunch of people further down squished into the front row, so I was shoved over, and I was standing pretty much diagonally for a bit, but then the poor girl beside me got pushed out of the front row, and I turned around and yelled, “I’m sorry!” but I don’t think she heard me, and I think her friend thought I said something mean, because she gave me a dirty look *sadface*. But then more people shoved in and her friend got pushed out of the front row too, and I felt bad, because they were VIPs too and had been waiting just as long as us. Now I was pretty much right in front of Anette’s mic stand. But The Siren was AWESOME. Anette is a great headbanger! And it was so cute because she like commanded Emppu and Marco to stand on one side of the stage and then she went and stood in between them and they did some synchronized headbanging. Then Emppu came over to us, and as he was playing, he kept staring at me, but I wouldn’t break eye contact, so then he turned his attention to Shanel and gave her this HUGE smile and then pointed at her and then walked away.

The Islander was pretty cool too, and when Anette came onstage for her part, there was a lot of cheering (which made me happy), and muchos arm-swayage going on. For WYLASR, Marco introduced it by saying that they’d been playing the song at a few places and would play it one more time and that the power group, of Marco, Tuomas and Jukka, were now going to play a song for us. It is a very strong song, and you will not have heard anything quite so powerful before, he said. And so it was, it is really much lovelier live (imo). TPATP was really stupendous. Marco introduced by saying something like, “And now we’ll play a song where Mr.Holopainen does magic. He kills himself and then comes back to life and plays it for you!” Emppu was making more hilarious gestures and when Anette sang the line, “Adventure filled days…” she looked STRAIGHT at me. I almost melted. I was watching Tuomas more during this song though (I didn’t watch him very much because he was on the other side of the stage), and he got so into it. It was great. And he did his infamous slashing gesture. Anette seriously looked like she was going to cry during Mother and Father, until the end and she was smiling again. I almost did cry though, during the second verse of that section. She just gets so into it…I couldn’t believe it.

Come Cover Me was so fucking grand, I just was blown away. Emppu winked at me! He was standing there and started playing the part before the chorus and I shouted “Woot!” and was the only one, and he looked at me a moment and then winked at me! I was like, “OME!!!!!” hahaha. The end, where Anette sings without instrumental accompaniment, was just…indescribable. Once it was done, Marco and Tuomas gave her a thumbs-up and big smiles! Tuomas then took a sip from a water bottle and chucked it over to the crowd, but it landed on the ground and the security guy picked it up and held it out to us, and I snatched it from his hand. A few moments later, I then took a sip of said water (because it was desperately needed), and so I swapped spit with Tuomas! Shanel did too, for that matter!

When Nemo came, Anette said, “I’m afraid we’ve reached the last song for the evening. But it is very warm in here, isn’t it?” We all laughed and cheered and she continued, “Which is good, it means you make us warm, which makes us happy!” (or something to that extent). Then someone shouted, “Come again!” and she said, “Oh, you want us to come again? Maybe tomorrow?” And we all screamed like mad little children. “Well I think we have to go to some place called Regina tomorrow.” And we all booed. Then Marco went on his mic and said, “You know, I can tell you’re all very good at math. And wouldn’t you know that fair is fair?” And we all booed some more, and then he started talking about the States and how they get like three tours (ouch…rub the salt in the wound Marco. Thanks. Haha) and then they played Nemo. Emppu watched me sing along for a bit and smiled, and then he started singing along, and it was so cute! He tried to throw a pick to us, but it went too high so we didn’t get it. Then they went offstage and we cheered for them to come back and after what felt like eternity, Jukka returned and we all started chanting his name, then the rest came back to the stage and started playing 7 Days to the Wolves. When it came to the violin solo part, Marco said, “And now it’s down to Jukka!” and we all cheered mightily. I was convinced Wishmaster was next, so I was really taken by surprise when they played Dead to the World. Anette completely pwns that song. I kind of flipped. She went up on the drum riser and rocked out there for awhile, too! Then she and Marco had a bit of a chat, where she said, “I don’t know if you know, but I am from Sweden and they are from Finland.” And I yelled, “Go Sweden!” but I’m pretty sure she didn’t hear me. She said that if the two countries got to the finals in hockey, that it would be a battle to the dust, and then Marco said something along the lines of, “You know, we are all guys from Finland, and she’s the exception from Sweden, and she plays the best metal in the world!” and we all screamed really loud and she looked a little embarrassed but pleased. Then she said, “And now, because you were so good to us Winnipeg, we want to leave you something. We want to send you home with thoughts of hockey and Nightwish. So we’re giving you an angel!” It was something like that, anyway. And then they played WIHAA. Which was fantastic. During the little preamble to that, though, Emppu was on “his” side of the stage, and he pointed at the chick on his guitar and asked us if we thought she was thumbs-up or thumbs-down, so there was a lot of cheering and thumbs-up as Anette was speaking, lol.

After that, it was over. Tuomas walked down the stage shaking hands, but he missed my hand, and Marco came next but I didn’t get his hand. I did, however, touch his arm. Haha. Then was Anette and when she got to me, she shook my hand, and when she was about two people past, I got semi-wits about me and shouted, “I love you!” and she turned back to me and put a hand on my face and said, “Thank you! You sing really good!” and I smiled stupidly at her, and she kept going. I seriously almost died right there. Omg, I couldn’t believe it. So she had seen me singing all the lyrics for the entire concert and just for one moment, she acknowledged my existence! Even if she forgot about me by the time she was at the other end of the stage, STILL! GAAAAAHD I want to see them again so badly. I have major post-concert blues.

Anette mentioned something during the concert about them returning in September, and how she wanted to see us all there, so…*crosses fingers that they really do come back*.

But it was great to see the chemistry they all had on stage, and they were so happy. Almost every time I looked at Tuomas, he was smiling away, and Anette seemed to be having the time of her life. Marco and Emppu are positively hilarious together; they’re always making fun of each other. Like when Marco grabbed Emppu’s chest and Emppu made this horrified face and shook his head “no” and looked all traumatized at us, and Marco laughed. Anette and Emppu even went to the drums and rocked out with Jukka for awhile at the end of 7DTTW. I couldn’t comment on Jukka’s performance as well as I can the others, but when he stood up, he looked really happy, and he was hitting those drums like there was no tomorrow, and he did an excellent job. This was definitely the best concert of my life, and everyone on stage and in the crowd got so into it, I think that every following band will have a hard time topping it (with the exception of Nightwish themselves).

FYI: this was cross-posted on the Nightwish forum, the Plaza, Myspace, Facebook and Livejournal, so don't be surprised if you run into it (or a very similar form to it) in any perusals of our lovely world-wide web.

The pictures are here. Pretty much all but like...two were taken by Shanel.

As an aside, Shanel is the best person I've ever been to a concert with!!! She barely knew Nightwish and she STILL got into it! Thanks Shanel! I hope you really liked your first concert, despite the fact that we are now very sore today!

I STILL can't get over the fact that Anette touched my face!!! EEEE!!!

She's absolutely a fantastic performer, btw. SO GOOD at what she does! I WANT NIGHTWISH TO COME BACK NOWWWWWW!!!

EDIT: The setlist (and I'm sure it's a bit mixed up) was

Bye Bye Beautiful

Dark Chest of Wonders

Whoever Brings the Night

Amaranth

The Siren

While Your Lips Are Still Red

The Poet and the Pendulum

The Islander

Sahara

Come Cover Me

Nemo

---

7 Days to the Wolves

Dead to the World

Wish I Had an Angel

Currently Listening: Whoever Brings the Night by Nightwish

We seduce the dark with pain and rapture,

Like two ships that pass in the night.

You and I,

A whore and a bashful sailor.

Welcome to a sunrise

Of a dirty mind.

Make up your own damn title! haha, I'm kidding.

Hey!

I KNOW I AM POSTING TOO MUCH LATELY.

But whatever. It's all good because NIGHTWISH IS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will, naturally, have a review for you, and hopefully some pictures too!

I bought a Nightwish flag at Wild Planet today! Bad me! I was going to save money to buy merch at the concert, but now I only have $60 instead of $80. That'll get me like...two shirts :/

Fucking merch is so expensive.

In my Nightwish-craziness of tonight, I wrote some of a new fanfic, but it's really bad, at least comparatively O.O

Seriously.

But that's because it's one of the fluff-happy ones ahaha. I had to take a break from writing the depressing shit, because I think it's getting progressively harder to explain the vision I have in my head on that one. So anyways, now I'm debating whether or not to post this new fanfic on the fanfic comm on LJ. GAH DECISIONS.

Regarding le fanfic update you will get tomorrow: it is from Anette's POV again, because I like writing her perspective most (naturally ^.^), and also because it was needed for plot advancement. I had been writing this in my head for a good two weeks, and I think I might even have thought about it a bit in Europe, but then I wrote it out, and I couldn't get it to sound very good :(. I just could not describe the movie that was playing in my head. So I'll touch it up a bit in the hours once I get home from school before I head downtown to go shopping with Sarah, and then to meet Mike (woo first online buddy I meet! You better not be a rapist, Mike), and then to stand in line for MY MEET AND GREET WITH NIGHTWISH!!!!! You'll have to tell me what you think of this update once it goes up. I really don't like it; I think it may be one of my worst chapters.

But yay for plot advancement, right?

Today I hung out with Cory again, and that kid is such a druggie, seriously. Ahaha. But he's fucking hilarious when he's high, so it's all good. He keeps trying to get me to smoke up, but I have an issue with inhaling drugs, and just the general thing of not being in control of yourself. That's just me though, and who am I to speak? Not like I've ever actually been high. I guess that's his point.

But yeah, so I met him at St.V and then we went to the Forks. We wanted to go to the Children's Museum, but didn't want to pay $7 to go in, so he went up to the chick at the desk and the conversation was as follows...

Cory: Hey

Chick: Hi

Cory: It's been such a long time since I've been here. Is there anything new?

Chick: Yeah, they added some stuff.

Cory: Cool.

[pause]

Cory: Hey, do you think we could just go in, just for like fifteen minutes? I can give you my license or something if you don't trust me.

Chick: You guys can just go in *smiles really friendlily*

Cory: Are you sure? I can leave you my license if you want.

Chick: No, really. It's fine.

Cory: Sweet! Thanks!

Me: Thanks!

and then we went into the Children's Museum, and it was exactly how I expected it to be: disappointing. Though the little recording thing was pretty distracting, I gotta say haha. We spent like fifteen minutes just in front of that thing alone. Cory is so funny though, you have no idea. Because he's such a jerk hahahahaha. We were walking to the 75 bus stop in Windsor Park to go back to St.V, and we were behind this girl walking a couple of dogs, and he's like, "Hey, I like your dogs. They're cute." And the girl didn't respond but kept walking without even looking at us. So he's like, "Hoooooolyyyyy" all offended sounding. It was so funny. God I wish everyone could have been there. Because it doesn't sound funny to write it.

At one point he got super excited for me because we saw a limo driving up to Inn at the Forks, and he's like "Oh my god, Danika, what if that's your band?!" all wide-eyed. I was like,"It's not going to be them, come on." But he stopped me and said, "But what if it is them? Just stare and hope that it's them!" So I stopped and watched, and it, of course, wasn't them. For one, why would they be in a limo?! Papa Roach used a Honda Civic when they were in town! lol. But anyways, once he realized it wasn't them, we started walking away and he said, "You know, I would be soooo happy for you if we ever just bumped into them. Like, I don't even know them at all, but I'd go up to them and start talking to them, because I know you won't be able to, and then I'd like take your picture with them. Could you imagine!" And he brought this up, and the concert tomorrow, quite a few times during our visit. This is why I like Cory, because he actually cares about shit that I like that he doesn't. And he's always got my back, even if he makes fun of me sometimes (a lot), he can totally take any insult I say to him, and he is never purposefully mean to me. He's a far more decent guy than he was back in Provencher. The only part of today that was little bit of a revert was when he started talking about boners *rolls eyes*. I suppose everyone else would get perturbed by this, but I'm used to it from him, and some of the shit he says is just too damn funny. That kid makes me laugh like no one else can. Because no one else I know is as ballsy as him.

So anyways, yesh! NIGHTWISH TOMORROW OMG! I can't believe I've been counting this down from like...71 days. omg. Where did the time go? My birthday's in just over a month! O.O

Cory said he bought me a present, which is completely unexpected since it isn't like we hang out very much anymore, and we've not gotten each other presents since like...grade 8. But it's very nice of him. PLUS he said he might go to WPC in grade 12! We'll see if that happens, but if it does, I'll be very happy, even if no one else is.

Why do I see his going to WPC being much the same as my return to Provencher in grade 6? :/

Those were bad, bad times.

Nothing got good until grade 8. And then they turned to shit again in grade 9. and then they were okay, and now everything's pretty much FANTASTIC.

I have never been in a better place in my life as I am right now! :) As is evidenced by the fact that I have far less mood swings.

I hope it can last.

Also, I concur. Oomph! is the worst band name.

I'd say Oomph! was the worst (the reason I didn't listen to them until I saw a picture of Dero and decided he was hot, found out they were German, and so I should check out their music) followed by Papa Roach (because it is retarded, even if it's after his grandfather), followed by Stabilo (any band name named after a highlighter loses respect with me), and then OLP and Nightwish are tied for good band names. My opinion. Feel free to differ. I still don't know the story behind OLP's band name, but is Nightwish's just because that was the title of the first song Tuomas wrote? Because that's a pretty dull story, I have to say.

Currently Listening: Pray for Me by Sixx:A.M.

She lights a candle, but she doesn't know why.

She wants to save me, but I'm barely alive.

My soul is thirsty; I just wanna get high

And make her go away.

News to me

Holy fuck. Nightwish sold out the Garrick! O.O

YAY FOR THEM!! :D

Maybe then they'll come back some day!

I hate how all the good bands, be they American or European, hell, even if they're Canadian and make it big in the States, only go to Toronto and Montreal. AND to make it worse, when they tour the US, they NEVER go to North Dakota and very rarely go to Minnesota, both of which are the only states I could go to that are a "reasonable" distance to drive.

I say this because when Nightwish tours North America again in the fall, they go nowhere near ND or MN, and they go only to Toronto and Montreal. Also because Rammstein has only been to Toronto and Montreal, and also because Epica has only been there, and also because WT has only been there. THIS IS PISSING ME OFF.

Toronto is the last city in Canada that I would want to live in, and the people in Montreal wouldn't like me because my French is not their French.

Gotta move away gotta move away gotta move away.

At least if I moved to Victoria, Washington state is RIGHT there.

Also, I find it completely unfair that we have to learn about the US in school, but they don't have to learn about us.

Those Tennessee kids asked us if we celebrated Christmas and if it was on the same day *rolls eyes*.
They also thought we had a president.
And they thought a toboggan was something to wear on one's head.

Currently Listening: Sex hat keine Macht by Oomph!

Sex hat keine Macht.

Sex hat keine Macht.

Du blutest nicht genug für mich.

Küss mich noch ein letztes Mal.

[Sex has no power.

Sex has no power.

You don't bleed enough for me.

Kiss me one last time.]

A list of songs/videos

dealing with suicide.

No, no, I'm not being emo or morbid. Hear me out.

Yesterday I was watching MuchLoud (it's a routine...watching Loud while eating lunch), and I finally got to see Seether's "Rise Above This" video. The first time I heard the song was at the concert, where Shaun (the lead singer) introduced the song as being the next single, and that he wrote it for his brother (to whom the album is dedicated) who committed suicide. At the end of the video (when it aired here), it had a thing for Kid's Help Phone at the end, and then I remembered when Good Charlotte's video used to air on Much, it too had that at the end. So I got to thinking about songs released as singles with videos that deal with suicide, be it about overcoming it or committing it. And here's what I have (in no particular order, except the way it's ordered in My Favourites).

And hey, if you don't like some of it, don't bitch at me, please :)
I like them and that's what matters to me.

Blink-182: Adam's Song

Eminem: The Way I Am - the song isn't about suicide, but he pretty much commits it in the video.

Eminem: When I'm Gone - the song isn't entirely about suicide, but mentions it. The video isn't at all.

Good Charlotte: Hold On - ish one of my favourites on this list. Really good message. Really sad. If I recall, it even had a warning at the beginning of it when I saw it on Much. Which is retarded.

Kelly Rowland: Stole - completely different style of music. It's still there though.

Linkin Park: Crawling

Linkin Park: Numb

Gary Jules: Mad World - Tears for Fears cover. Could be interpreted a million different ways; I think it's about suicide, so there.

Billy Talent: Nothing to Lose - don't like it anymore, but back in the day I did. And it is very much so about suicide, in both video and lyrical contexts.

Our Lady Peace: Life - OLP always writes songs about overcoming depression and suicide, and I would think this is one of those about overcomingthat...just listening to the chorus and all.

Papa Roach: Last Resort - a must have. Though interesting tidbit for you: according to Jerry, the song is about one of Coby's roomates who attempted suicide and failed, and apparently it's about getting through it. Though lyrically, that is very much not apparent.

Pearl Jam: Jeremy - based on a true story, a kid named Jeremy who shot himself in front of his class at approximately 9:45 AM. In the edited video that played on Much and MTV, it made it seem like Jeremy had shot up his class, but in this version of the video, you can clearly tell that is not what's happening.

R.E.M: Everybody Hurts

Seether: Rise Above This - the one that started this all. Really good song, really good video.

Sixx:AM: Life is Beautiful - watchwatchwatch you must. It is a brilliant song.

Eminem: Stan - so it's more about crazy obsessive fans, but it has a few good mentions in there. In case you're wondering, the thing Stan is referring to at the end with the "but I didn't slit her throat" is the song Kim by Eminem.

Three Days Grace: Never Too Late - though the video hints at (or more than hints) sexual abuse, the song is clearly about suicide, and Adam said so at my first concert, before the album One-X had even been released and this was the only song from it that was done. Besides, it's pretty obvious in the lyrics.

So those are the songs with videos that are about suicide.

Three songs you should give a listen that don't have a video are...

Nightwish: The Poet and the Pendulum - doesn't exist in one full video on Youtube, so no linky. I think everyone here's heard it before anyway.

Our Lady Peace: Are You Sad? - Raine introduces this song live with a bit of a monologue about helping people when they're down and don't want to live, and he wrote this song for someone he knows, and it's always the song I listen to when I'm sad. I like it.

Evanescence: Breathe No More - I don't love Evanescence as much as I love other female-fronted bands like Nightwish, WT, Sirenia, what-have-you, but I do still like them quite a bit, and I only found out about this song today, and it's GORGEOUS.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my list. It was a great deal of fun making.

Let me know if you think of any others! I'm sure there's a PLETHORA of Nirvana ones out there, but I can't be bothered to remember.

Currently Listening: Angels by Within Temptation

I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door.

There's no escape. No, no mercy, no more.

No remorse 'cause I still remember

The smile when you tore me apart.

I like Tarja.

That's why I thought I'd show things from the way she might have seen them.

I honestly don't believe that she was the way the guys said she was in the open letter. At least not entirely.

Everything is about perspective. Two different people will have two different beliefs about what's going on/has gone on.

That's why I write Tarja's character the way I do.

Also, I think I'm gonna take up responding to comments on Wordpress by editing them with my response. *pokes Daria* I responded to yours. And will respond in the future to any that I feel the need to respond to, though you've no way to know when I do this, so you'll have to keep your eyes open.

Currently Listening: Burn Your Eyes by Oomph!

Oh my god, all the noise inside my head

It's like a million sirenes.

Oh my god, all the zombies start to spread

I'll save them by any means.

All my friends are broken toys.

All my friends ain't got no voice.

Sorry for two posts in one (technical) day.

oh well, you get an interesting conversation at least.

-- This was originally going to be a picture post, but because of technical issues, it is no longer --

This is just too great not to be shared XD
A lovely conversation with Joe from last night.

(9:14 PM) Silenius says:
still... thanks.. just don't turn into one of those psycho fans that murder the objects of their affections
(9:14 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
lmao!!! okay, I'll restrain myself. I don't tihnk I'm that insane...yet
(9:15 PM) Silenius says:
*laughs nervously*
(9:16 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
*patpats* it's okay, I could never murder the things I'm fond of. Kidnap, maybe. Murder, never
(9:17 PM) Silenius says:
oh dear lmao
(9:20 PM) Silenius says:
maybe kidnapping will be fun
(9:21 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
hmm, it could be...well, if you were a cooperative kidnappee
(9:21 PM) Silenius says:
I'd like to come see Canada
(9:22 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
haha well it isn't so exciting...and Winnipeg isn't so pretty either You'd be disappointed
(9:22 PM) Silenius says:
it'll be better than Hobbs I'm sure
(9:24 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
well YOU would be legal drinking age here too so I'm sure that could be interesting. But I wouldn't let you sneak away. I would accompany you on all your adventures, so that you couldn't go back home. You would be, after all, my kidnappee
(9:24 PM) Silenius says:
yeah... but you'd have to let me out every now and then to buy alcohol
(9:25 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
true. Well I'm allowed to go into liquor marts, so you wouldn't be able to escape even on alcohol runs!
(9:25 PM) Silenius says:
what is drinking age in Canada?
(9:26 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
18
(9:26 PM) Silenius says:
but you're... 16
(9:26 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
Yer, but they don't disallow minors from entering liquor marts, just from buying alcohol
(9:27 PM) Silenius says:
I see, well then...:p
(9:27 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
see, I saw you there, trying to formulate escape plans
(9:27 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
but you've been foiled!
(9:28 PM) Silenius says:
yeah.. what about the bathroom?
(9:29 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
hmm...good point. Damn...that's a bit of trouble
(9:31 PM) Silenius says:
HA! You have to let me out of your site for a little while
(9:34 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
awww but would you run off? *pouts* I promise you would be my favourite kidnappee. Well, you and the rest of Nightwish...
(9:35 PM) Silenius says:
you mean I'd get to hang out with Anette, Marco, and Tuomas?
(9:35 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
yeah!! Well, we'd all hang out together. Me and Anette would be best friends, naturally, but of course you'd hang out with them too, and you could be one of my best friends too
(9:36 PM) Silenius says:
I could write some lyrics for them then!
(9:39 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
yeah!! and we'd get to be like...backstage for their concerts (naturally I'd make sure there were many played here, but we'd get to travel to Sweden and Finalnd and all over Europe and the States for their concerts too). And sometimes we could even play back-up guitar!
(9:40 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
*Finaland
(9:40 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
sfnsadjktgdjla
(9:40 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
*Finland
(9:40 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
there we go
(9:40 PM) Silenius says:
hahaha, I'd settle for drummer every now and then actually
(9:41 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
hmm but poor Jukka would have nothing to do then! Well, he could hang out with me backstage I guess
(9:41 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
so you would be my willing kidnappee then?
(9:42 PM) Silenius says:
sure!
(9:43 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
awesome! oh it will be so fun to kidnap you and Nightwish, and Oomph! and maybe some other bands
(9:43 PM) Silenius says:
like CoB?
(9:43 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
yes exactly!
(9:44 PM) Paradise Poetry says:
CoB and Sirenia

That's only a snippet, but yeah. It was good times. Joe's an awesome guy. I EVEN got him spelling "favourite" the Canadian way! Muhahah! Actually, there's the convo me and Shanel had once about Americans. I will post it one day. She probably doesn't even remember, but luckily my Windows Live Plus! saves convos automatically woot!!


I just now remembered that I was going to catch up on my math work today. Well, I vow to have it done by the end of the week. I need a post-it to remind me though. WHY ARE THERE NO POST-ITS?!

Regarding the poll, I'll keep it around for a bit and see how it goes and if it goes plop then I will delete it. Five votes was more than I expected, to be honest. I was very happy!

Also, do you guys remember way back when I wrote about that Tarjaholic I was converting into an Anetteholic? Well now he is one XD
I am so damn good.
Well, actually, it's because every time he brought her up, I would blither on about how awesome she was, and he's actually THANKED me for making him realize how awesome she is.
Hee. I love when I manage to do that.
He, natually, still likes Tarja. It would be a shame if he didn't, because I like her too, so now he can blither on about his manly fantasies about them both and I can go, "Yeah, they're both really pretty and good singers!" ahaha

Anyways, it's bedtime. I'm dead tired. Kind of early for me to be tired, but oh well.

Blahh computer's so slow today. I think I may have a virus. I do know I have Adware. Time to fix things.

Countdown: 7 MOTHERFUCKING DAYS!

Currently Listening: She is My Sin (live Montreal 2007) by Nightwish

Take heed, dear heart, once apart

She can touch nor me nor you.

Dressed as one,

A wolf will betray a lamb.

Lead astray the gazers, the razors

On your seducing skin.

In the meadow of sinful thoughts,

Every flower's a perfect one.

So I was on www.herzeleid.com looking up some translations to Rammstein lyrics, and I saw this little section called "German Music" with a bunch of links to other German bands' websites (Oomph! included teehee).

HOW COULD I NOT HAVE NOTICED THIS BEFORE?!

So now I have muchos discovery to do.

I <3 German bands.

A recap

I iz happy!

I found and downloaded three Nightwish live audio bootlegs from 2008 (I now believe I have pretty much all from this tour), and their multi-camera gig from Sydney, and some other video thing from Milan. Also today I bought the Wishmaster CD! You see, I've gotten the albums in reverse order. First DPP, then Once, then Century Child, then OTHAFA, and now Wishmaster! It's too damn bad that Oceanborn doesn't seem to EXIST in Winnipeg, though AFF does. Retarrrrrrded. I totally want Oceanborn WAY more than AFF. I guess I'll just order it.

AND I ordered an Oomph! CD today! I now have roughly $14 on my credit card, aha. Can't reload it until I have $250, since that's the minimum. JOB TIME! (And I've been saying that for how long now?)

So, my weekend so far has been FANTASTIC!

Friday I went to visit Cory, which was just awesome because we haven't seen each other since October, and the thing is that even though so much time had passed, it still felt like it was grade 8 all over again and we were best friends. Nothing's really changed between us, except the fact that he's a pothead now, and a lot less of a jerk, lol.

So I got to his place and chatted with his dad and his mom for a bit and then the two of us went walking around Southdale. We went to some little park, and since it was so windy and cold, there was no one there, so he went and smoked up as I stood by awkwardly waiting for him to finish. Be proud of me, because I didn't give in to his peer pressure haha. Then we went to Dollarama and he shoplifted an Oh Henry bar (what a bad little child he is), but the store was too busy for him to shoplift anything else, so we went to Zellers and wandered around for a bit. After Zellers, we went back to his place and watched Cloverfield, which was actually a pretty good movie. I'd buy it if I saw it on for cheap. Then I had to go home, because my parents were getting drunk that night so didn't want to pick me up too late (wow, that sounds really bad, doesn't it? lmao).

So I got home and the neighbours were over. I said the typical hellos and then disappeared into the basement where I visited with my computer for a bit, and then got bored and went a visited my guitar. After a good long chat with it, I stuck three CDs in my stereo and put 'em on shuffle. I think I had Nightwish's Dark Passion Play, Within Temptation's The Heart of Everything and Sirenia's Nine Destinies and a Downfall in there. Yay for female fronted metal! So I just chilled and listened to music for about an hour or two, and then my mom started shouting at me through my door, asking if I wanted to play Rock Band with them. So I did, and that was...um...interesting. Basically all four adults were totally wasted, but Dallas was by far the worst. It was funny teaching Rob and Shauna how to play the instruments, and watching my mom attempt to play drums and fail miserably, but I think when Dallas had to sing, my ears quite nearly started bleeding. He completely butchered In Bloom, Say it Ain't So and Sabotage. *shudders*. It was bad...really bad.

He was also quite sick this morning.

And today I went shopping with Shanel and Chantal, and I bought a skirt to wear to the Nightwish concert (naturally I'll wear it other times than that, though I can just see Shanel doubting that. WELL IF PEOPLE DIDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO COMMENT ON THE FACT THAT I AM SKINNY EVERY TIME I WEAR A SHORT-SLEEVED SHIRT OR SHORTS OR A SKIRT, THEN I WOULD WEAR THEM MORE OFTEN. Fuck, I'm so so sick of that. So sick. Seriously. I can't stand it. Do people think I'm unaware of the fact that I'm skinny? Do they think I LIKE being as thin as I am? Fuck, and you all wonder why I hate how I look). As well as the Wishmaster CD.

Got home and then some of my parents' friends came over. I once again disappeared into my room with my guitar, but then my mom came and knocked on my door and introduced me to someone (whose name I can't remember, though I know it started with an M). She was really interested in the fact that I play guitar. She was actually a really, really nice woman. Someone who actually seemed to LISTEN to what I said. But I digress. I was introduced to her and her daughter Morgan, who's an EXTREMELY well-articulated three year old, and chatted with her for a bit about playing guitar and whatnot and then disappeared into my room again. Continued playing guitar (trying to get the hang of those artificial harmonics. I can finally hit the ones in WIHAA, but the ones in Sahara or Slaying the Dreamer are as yet out of the question) and then Dallas knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to play Rock Band. Thus, I wound up entertaining the children all evening. Actually, they were both really well behaved. Logan, the son of the other lady who was visiting (who didn't deign to speak to me), was super nice, and a pretty cool kid too. So I played Rock Band for most of the night with Logan, and then he wanted to play Sly Cooper on my PS2, so I hooked that up for him and went back down to the basement. Shortly afterwards, everyone left, though before leaving, the chick whose name I can't remember (and yes, I do feel totally bad for not being able to remember her name, though I think it's a pretty uncommon one...*sadface*), was talking to me about how she was on an exchange in Germany (fucking AWESOME!) and how she went to see some show in a bar put on by her cousin, and her cousin has a totally hardcore metal band. How cool! Then she was saying if I ever needed advice in pursuing my dreams of going on exchange to Sweden and/or Germany, that she'd be glad to share some! Everyone should be as nice as she was ^.^. I hope they come to visit again sometime.

So that was my weekend so far. Tomorrow I'm going to see Baby Mama with Janice, which will be awesome and I know this because Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, comedic duo sent from the GODS, are the lead actors!

NOW! I need your guys' help with something. Two somethings. This is important to me, so listen up.

1) I want to give Nightwish something when I meet them, but there are two problems with this. How do I give them a present without feeling like an idiot? And WHAT DO I GIVE THEM?! I was thinking one of those lame little Canada toques for Anette, since we all know how headwear seems to be a common present for her, from berets, to fluffy little pink...antenna things, to plastic tiaras. I thought that a Canada toque (like this one) would be pretty amusing to give her since it would remind her of Canada after all, and it would be funny, and we all know her sense of humour. BUT then I'd feel bad if I didn't get something for everyone else (because they're all fucking AMAZING), and besides, where the hell am I gonna find a toque like that at this time of year? SO I NEED SUGGESTIONS. What the hell hasn't been done before?

2) What do I get them to sign at the meet & greet? I was thinking the BBB DVD, the poster I got from Rock Sound magazine (since it's been folded already), the hoodie, and the Dark Passion Play shirt.

Is that too much?

Also, is it weird to have Anette sign the hoodie, since it is, after all, from Century Child?

And if I get them to sign the shirt, should they sign the front or the back?

Or should I just get them to sign one article of clothing?

In that case, there's the dilemma of it possibly being weird to have Anette sign a Century Child hoodie, but then I would wear the hoodie a hell of a lot more than the shirt, because that's just the way I am. Well, that and the six months of winter.

And yes, those are my rockin' red sheets in the pictures. Don't diss 'em, or I will punch you. In the face. Multiple times. Until you are a bloody pulp.

Nah, I'm kidding, I could never do that.

I'll hire someone to do that for me.

But anyways, I'll take off.

The countdown: 10 days!

Currently Listening: Two for Tragedy by Nightwish

Sleep, Eden, sleep, my fallen son.

Slumber in peace, cease the pain.

Life's just in vain for us to gain

Nothing, but all the same...

No healing hand for your disease.

Drinking scorn like water,

Cascading with my tears.