Well I doubt this is how it went down.

(1:34 AM) *namechange*:
I thought that there was originally six and when Tarja found out she was being replaced she killed one

hahahahahahaha
You have no idea how much I laughed when Shanel said that.

About the final bow during End of an Era with John Two-Hawks.

You know, I was thinking today (yes, I do do that from time to time), about this whole firing Tarja thing. In an interview or two (possibly three), Tuomas said that they'd decided six months before or whatever and they had all that time to decide how best to fire her. And I was wondering how in the world that topic would first come up. Maybe it was like:

---

THE SCENE: After some random show six months before firing Tarja.

*Tuomas approaches Emppu*

Tuomas: Emppu, you know, I was thinking that it's time for Tarja to go.

Emppu: What, like assassinate her?

Tuomas: No, no. Just fire her in the most humiliating way possible.

Emppu: You want to videotape us telling her she's fired and then put it on Youtube?

Tuomas: I don't know. We'll make it a possibility, but we should brainstorm some more.

Emppu: Okay, well have you talked to Marco and Jukka yet?

Tuomas: No, not yet. Since I just decided I didn't want her in the band anymore while we were onstage.

Emppu: Right, well you should talk to them about it, and we'll see what happens. I don't care either way. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Emppuholics to annoy by not showing up outside the venue for them to bombard me with autograph and picture requests. Let me know how it goes.

*Emppu leaves to...god knows where...and Tuomas begins searching for Jukka, finally finding the drummer putting away his drumset with the roadies*

*Tuomas approaches Jukka*

Tuomas: Jukka...Emppu and I were just talking...

Jukka: Could you hold on a sec, Tuomas? I just need to finish telling my drums that they did a marvellous job today.

*Tuomas shuts up as Jukka croons for a bit to his snare drum, not finding it strange at all as he does the same thing to his keyboards after each show*

Jukka: Okay, that's all good now. So what were you saying Tuomas?

Tuomas: Oh, well, maybe I should talk to you about this...alone...

Jukka: Oh, I get it. You don't want Betsy to hear. Gotcha.

*The two walk to an empty place in the venue*

Tuomas: Who's Betsy?

Jukka: My drumset!

Tuomas: Oh, okay. So anyway, Emppu and I were just talking about firing Tarja, but we felt we should make sure it was okay with you.

Jukka: Oh yeah, I'm cool with it. She's been a bit annoying lately with that Marcelo character around anyway.

Tuomas: Great! So I was just telling Emppu we should do it in the most humiliating way possible, so think on that for a bit and let me know if you come up with any ideas.

Jukka: Alright. Have you talked to Marco though?

Tuomas: Well I'll mention it to him, but even if he says no, it doesn't matter because he only joined the band a few years ago and we're all the founding members, so it's really us who get to decide everything anyway.

Jukka: Yeah, that's true. Well you should tell him anyway, and tell him that he has no choice in the matter regardless of what he thinks.

Tuomas: I was planning to.

*Tuomas goes off to find Marco, and finds the bass player seated on a chair, already playing his DS*

Tuomas: Marco, I gotta tell you something.

Marco: What's up, Tuomas?

Tuomas: Well Emppu, Jukka and I plan to fire Tarja.

Marco: FINALLY! God, I'm so sick of her, but I knew I couldn't say anything because I only joined the band a few years ago and you guys are all the founding members, so it's really you who get to decide everything anyway.

Tuomas: Okay, wow, great!

Marco: So when are you gonna do it?

Tuomas: Actually, I haven't thought about that yet.

Marco: How about in six months, right after filming the DVD at our last concert of the tour?

Tuomas: Marco, you're a genius! That sounds absolutely perfect because that way we can make all the profit as Nightwish and she won't because she won't be in Nightwish anymore, and also we can spoil all her memories of that concert so she can't even watch the DVD without crying!

Marco: Yes, well I try my best.

---

And how the idea for the open letter came about? Well picture this:

---

THE SCENE: Sometime shortly following the plan to fire Tarja, sitting backstage before a gig. Tarja and Marcelo are sitting together a bit separated from Tuomas, who is brooding on how best to fire the leading lady, and Emppu, who's got his iPod on full blast. Marco and Jukka are off...somewhere else, likely drinking.

Tarja (to Marcelo): Oh, Marcelo darling, I was just thinking...

Marcelo: Thinking about what, dear? Money?

Tarja: No, not money.

Marcelo (muttering): Dammit, the brainwashing hasn't fully worked yet.

Tarja: No, I was just thinking about how absolutely horrible it would be if I were to get fired from this band.

Marcelo: Don't speak nonsense, dear. Not only is Tuomas completely in love with you, but they'd also be idiots to fire you, because there's absolutely no chance on Earth that they would find a friendly and personable Swedish woman to replace you and also send their sales skyrocketing. Because obviously Swedes are terrible people and not a single one of them is friendly. And also, they all have pop voices, and we all know that pop voices would never work to open Nightwish up to a larger audience.

Tarja: Oh, you're just saying that because I'm Finnish and you know how we all hate Swedes.

Marcelo: Yes. In fact, it's quite probable that they would find a friendly and personable Swedish woman to replace you, and her pop voice would in fact send their sales skyrocketing because it would open the music up to a larger audience. But they won't fire you anyway, because you are the only thing keeping this floating wreck called "Nightwish" afloat. Also, you've already said you were leaving after one more album, so they'd really achieve nothing by firing you.

Tuomas (thinking): Little do they know what we have in store for them...

Tarja: Yes, but hypothetically, no matter how unrealistic it seems, it would be horrible.

Marcelo: Yes, but I'm sure you'd do wonderfully solo, as you plan to when you quit Nightwish.

Tarja: I'm positive I will do quite well. Especially since I wouldn't actually be writing my own lyrics, I'd just find people to write them for me and maybe change a line here or there. But quitting Nightwish and being fired are so different, because one way, I can humiliate them, and the other way, they can humiliate me!

Marcelo: Stop thinking about these things! They're depressing!

Tarja: Just imagine how horrible it would be to be publicly crucified, like if they fired me by an open letter that they posted on the front page of their website or something after the last show of the tour!

Marcelo: Calm down, darling. You'll never have to worry about that. You're so far ahead of the rest of them, we both know that their little minds could never think up such a conniving scheme.

*a lightbulb goes on over Tuomas' head*

Tuomas (thinking): I am so brilliant! We can fire her by an open letter that we'll post on the front page of our website! My genius will never cease to amaze me.

*Tuomas cackles evilly, drawing weird looks from Marcelo and Tarja*

---

Of course I'm just joking. Ya'll know that, I hope.

And I had wayyyyy too much fun writing that.

By the way, since I've no intention of writing in here tomorrow when I post the fanfic update, the dress I'm talking about is this one:

Also, I'm a horrible, horrible person because I hotlinked that photo :S

I'd like to thank Mike in advance for his help (because I still have a couple paragraphs to write before I send it over to him).

@Daria: It isn't just you, don't worry about it. It's a me thing and I have to get over it, and it's better than people just saying "It's good" over and over again anyway :)

Currently Listening: Where Were You Last Night? by Nightwish

I called and I called
Just to make things right.
Have I lost the fight?
Where were you last night?
I beg and I cry,
I keep asking why.
Where were you last night?
Where were you last night?