*whispers* I'm sorry

I never thought it would matter this much to me, because it shouldn't, but it physically revolts me.

And then I got to wondering what kind of fucked-up things a psychiatrist would see with these weird reactions of mine to different things, if I were to see one. Probably some logical explanation that's right in front of my face but that I just can't or won't focus on.

Ever do that? Where you prevent yourself from thinking certain thoughts and feeling certain feelings because of some weird thing in you where it's like if you think it then everyone will know? Or is that just me being fucked up again? Aha.

Also, I totally need a new project. Non-computer project. I'm thinking a Nightwish scrapbook or something, so that it can remind me that I actually do enjoy life, that'll give me something positive to focus on when things aren't so great, and it can be something that gets my ass out from in front of this computer, away from TVs, and is not just me sleeping. I sleep too much lately during the afternoons and not enough at night. But we'll see. It would require obtaining a scrapbook first.

Sorry about this post btw. I try not to post twice in a day. But I had to vent, so I did. Also, I'm gonna blog every day this month, so prepare yourself.

Currently Listening: You're Better Off Dead by Children of Bodom

Mind your own business and leave mine alone.

Take a look at the real world for a sec.

It's a hell for heroes and heaven for fools,

Makes you the luckiest bastard on earth.