Montreal...isn't happening.
And my entire aim lately is not to think about it. Because if I think about it, I'll be reminded of how disappointed I am, not only in the fact that it didn't work out, but also in myself for even thinking it could.
It just sucks. I've been saving up for months for absolutely nothing. I paid $50 for a concert ticket that I'm never going to use except to stare at and feel sad.
I haven't felt so much sad, aside from my mini-meltdown directly following the news, as empty. Just this hollowness of disappointment. I should have known better though.
I'm going on a spending spree to make myself feel better before I start saving up for all the other things I desire. At least one of them is my aim to have next summer, the most expensive, but I'll be 18 and I think I'd be willing to take out a loan for something like that. *NOT SAYING WHAT*
If I listen to Nightwish, I get incredibly depressed, though. So I've been listening to Sixx:A.M. like crazy. Methinks they're becoming another therapy band for me when I'm down.
I heard the acoustic version of Life is Beautiful and it is simply put and completely AMAZING song and absolutely beautiful. I had to rip it from the Youtube video because I couldn't find it for download (even paid download) ANYWHERE. And I needed it. I needed it because it's so incredibly touching.
Currently Listening: Courtesy Call by Sixx:A.M.
And my entire aim lately is not to think about it. Because if I think about it, I'll be reminded of how disappointed I am, not only in the fact that it didn't work out, but also in myself for even thinking it could.
It just sucks. I've been saving up for months for absolutely nothing. I paid $50 for a concert ticket that I'm never going to use except to stare at and feel sad.
I haven't felt so much sad, aside from my mini-meltdown directly following the news, as empty. Just this hollowness of disappointment. I should have known better though.
I'm going on a spending spree to make myself feel better before I start saving up for all the other things I desire. At least one of them is my aim to have next summer, the most expensive, but I'll be 18 and I think I'd be willing to take out a loan for something like that. *NOT SAYING WHAT*
If I listen to Nightwish, I get incredibly depressed, though. So I've been listening to Sixx:A.M. like crazy. Methinks they're becoming another therapy band for me when I'm down.
I heard the acoustic version of Life is Beautiful and it is simply put and completely AMAZING song and absolutely beautiful. I had to rip it from the Youtube video because I couldn't find it for download (even paid download) ANYWHERE. And I needed it. I needed it because it's so incredibly touching.
Currently Listening: Courtesy Call by Sixx:A.M.
I can't feel anything, my arms are numb,
And I'm hoping you notice
The light that I left on.
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